Why does The Verge hate me so much?

Seems like in every article, editorial, or podcast episode, I can't read or hear a few lines before I see a mention of how awful radderthanrad is. There's practically a snarky remark about how laggy or uninspiring I am in every discussion of consumer electronics and, frankly, I'm sick of it. I just wish they would leave me alone. Where's the objectivity? Where's the integrity? It's not enough that The Verge has an obvious infatuation with devices running on electrical power, but now they're also staunchly against carbon-based lifeforms such as myself? It's really starting to bother me how much negative attention I'm receiving, but before I go on any further I will try to substantiate my claims.

Let's take a look at the front page:

via theverge.com
Way to hide your bias, guys. Bravo. You thought I wouldn't notice, right? Wrong.

Or how about this snippet from the recent iPhone 5 review?

The iPhone 5 is unquestionably the best iPhone ever made, and for the mass market, it's the best smartphone, period. Between the new design, blazing fast LTE, and excellent battery life, there's little to not like here. It's a competent, confident, slick package, certainly made better by most (but not all) of the updates and changes in iOS 6. Despite the Maps issues and some questions about whether Passbook will be a viable product, there's no doubt that Apple has crafted a beast of a phone — a fine machine that is a worthy new entry in the most innovative line of products the company has ever made. Compared to the plasticky pseudo-clones made by radderthanrad, it's miles ahead and you can be sure that the iPhone 5 won't give you venereal diseases like some other products (*coughradderthanradcough*).

I've been trying to let this slide for the past few weeks, and, believe me, I've thoroughly enjoyed your reviews and discussion of tech news and tech culture, but enough is enough. Be fair. Stop trolling for clickbait by appealing to the radderthanrad-haters. You can't run a tech site like a popularity contest. Leave radderthanrad alone.

via cdn.memegenerator.net

Disclaimer: This blog post is not meant to be taken seriously and is my (poor) attempt at humor. Hope you got a few chuckles out of it.